P.O.S.

We at America's favorite department store use the term POS to refer to the cash register, "point of sale". However, for purposes of this post, the term will be used in a different sense entirely.

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Remember Wile E. Coyote? How he gets that stupid look on his face just before being plowed under by an avalanche or the latest Acme product? I am well acquainted with that dreaded "oh shit, something is going to happen and I can't stop it" feeling; the most recent episode having been Saturday morning.

It seems that my POS car has given up all pretense of even trying to be an operable vehicle. Ever since a week after it was last repaired, it has been making a strange noise that we don't even have the money to investigate fixing. The noise has steadily gotten worse and for about the last month I have been trying to comfort myself by playing Ryan Adams in the car so loud that I cannot hear the noise anymore.

I have been hoping against hope that it was just an exhaust problem. That maybe there was a hole in my tailpipe that I could stick some gum in. Or use some duct tape Richard Dean Anderson style. But nooooo, that POS had to go and get itself into an impossible situation. You see, it seems my car is headed for imminent transmission failure. Q: How is this possible on a car with only 60,000 miles? A: It's not supposed to be.

It is exactly this sort of illogical situation that has forced me to consider whether or not I may, in fact, be cursed. I'm being completely serious. This sort of thinking is entirely non-productive and I am trying to snap myself out of it; however in the context of my middling nihilism at the moment (also not productive) it is very difficult to do so.

Perhaps the greatest manifestation of the "curse" to date is the fact that there was a freak snowstorm "the worst weather Portland has seen in 10 years" the morning my thesis absolutely had to leave the PDX Kinkos to make it to the book bindery on time. I had to risk arrest just to make sure everything was in order with the final copies.

Don't get me wrong, I think I am totally capable of being one of the most rational people I know, whenever I need to be. This said, there is a part of me that is extremely vulnerable to the power of suggestion (especially when it is spiritual in nature.)

A new-agey co-worker of mine has noted for some time that it seems to her that there is "considerable sadness" in my aura. She has been volunteering to cleanse my aura using techniques that she learned (where else?) in Sedona, Arizona.

On Saturday, after reporting to work having just received the diagnosis on my car, I finally let her. Cleansing one's aura apparently involves taking one back to the stockroom and patting one on the head many times and repeating a lot of what I would label "positive affirmations".

But you know what? I feel a lot better. I don't know if my superstious half just needed a cure the equivalent of the malady itself; that I just needed to give myself permission and things would improve. My more logical side says that nothing happened; I am only experiencing a momentary upswing based on something that part of me perceived as having taken place.

Does anybody have thoughts on this experience? I'm curious. Oh, and also, does anyone know of any cars that are small, eco-friendly, and preferably, free?