Thoughts on...*RANT*- The mysterious nature of the male species

I have come to the recent conclusion that for all my efforts, I am still no closer to understanding that enigmatic opposite sex. After all, I grew up with brothers, not sisters. I have about 50 male cousins and all of 4 female cousins. I was a huge tomboy as a little girl and played with boys all the time. I've always had a lot of male friends, which at times has been both fantastic and the bane of my existence, which for various reasons will not be explained here. So, it's not for want of male influence that I don't understand men. To the contrary, I've always felt that adult women were much more of a mystery than any man.

This has all changed since I've been engaged. I must admit, I never saw it coming. Here are the aforementioned mysterious women all of a sudden welcoming me into their circles. My mother seems to place newfound importance on my ability to cook a pot roast, iron a tablecloth, or not dye the white load with a lone red sock. And the men? Interestingly, they don't want to play anymore. It's as if I'm about to graduate to some higher plane where I'm soon to be unreachable, so they're starting to leave me out now.

It's not just that I perceive this disappointment, it's that I've been told to my face that the world would be a lot brighter if I weren't engaged. Not just once, but probably closing in on a dozen times by now. While I would expect this of old flames, it's coming from men who I thought wouldn't even have an opinion on the matter. Casual friends, classmates, guys in relationships with other women, gay friends, even friends from way back. It's as if they conclude that my engagement procludes me from caring about them anymore. And while there is no longer any hope that something is ever going to "happen" between us, this shouldn't even be a concern for some of these opposed men.

Here are some of my favorite comments:

"You're too young to get married."
"Do you really know what you're doing?"
"So why are you in graduate school then?" ***If someone even says this to me again, they're askin for a slappin***
"So, I'm probably never going to hear from you again, right?"
"I may as well just say goodbye to you now then."

These comments are usually said with a look of disdain for the entire concept of marriage or with a half-pout of disappointment. I realize that perhaps traditional marriage is not as respected as it once was. Do I think marriage is always going to be easy and that I'm not going to struggle sometimes? Hardly. I realize that for my highly motivated peers, "advancement" "success" and "self-love" are their ticket to ride while "commitment" "loyalty" and "sharing" have no place in their vocabulary. And I can respect that. Sometimes you have every right to be selfish. But while I do share elements of that philosophy, I believe that many times it is ultimately unfulfilling. What I would give for someone to say, "Good for you, I'm happy for you"-and respect me enough to really mean it.