Shrek III

Ok, just like the last post: for anyone who reads this blog there may be spoilers ahead.



With due warning, I will now proceed.
As happens occasionally, Brad came home tonight with free passes to preview a movie before it officially opens to the general public. Tonight's flick, err, victim, was Shrek the Third. As is typical, we gave dichotomous reviews-Brad enjoyed the movie, while I left grumbling about it for the rest of the night. The last time we had preview passes, we took in First Snow. I enjoyed it, Brad not so much. So it goes.

I found Shrek 3 to be grating in parts-it was definitely trying too hard and was dangerously predictable. Usually before I watch a movie I have any prior knowledge of, I try to predict what is going to happen. If I'm right, the movie automatically receives a minimum one-star reduction in final rating. So, guess what, now Shrek and Fiona are married, and Fiona starts thinking it's time to add some little green monsters to the household. Say it with me now...Preeee-dict-able. -1.5

My biggest problem with this movie comes from exactly this. It is WAY too typical to my liking. Example: The king dies at the beginning. Shrek and some obscure dude named Artie voiced by Mr. Bringing Sexy Back are the choices for new king. Excuse me, but what the hell happened to Fiona? Is it impossible for there to be a Queen? Holy patriarchy, Batman!

Well now, perhaps Fiona was not considered to be Queen because she was going on the “mommy track”. Or maybe Daddy was just totally short sighted.

I’m looking around the theater, probably a little over a third filled with little boys and girls, their heads covertly being filled with traditional notions of marriage and family. Seriously though, what were the execs at DreamWorks thinking? Is this movie secretly being funded by Focus on the Family? Are we not seriously limiting the potential of girls and young women when we repeatedly show them that marriage comes first, then your husband has a career and you stay at home and wait for your eggs to hatch?

As if this movie could get any more constrained by 1950’s dogma, Shrek has a Daddy crisis. He wonders if he can handle everything, if things are going to change between him and the wifey, etc. But does Fiona ever show anything resembling this level of character complexity? Of course not. She is a woman. And women are ALWAYS universally thrilled about the prospect of having and raising children. That is why we have things such as abortion and adoption. (Please note heavy use of sarcasm)

I fully realize that this is a children’s movie, and that children’s movies are not particularly adept (to date) of handling complex life issues. But does it have to be that way? Have an imagination, movie execs! Or at least be realistic. In the land of fairy tales, make believe, can we not be more original than some forest creatures and a cast of otherwise white characters? It is disgusting to me when adults in the audience laugh at a gag such as when the princesses burn their bras, knowing that they will never be able to explain to their children the idea behind it ( if they ask and when they are ready. You obviously cannot broach feminism with a 2 year old)

Apparently, we discover at the end of the movie that Fiona has triplets-this avoids the awkward question that would have developed had Fiona had just a baby boy. I would have considered walking out to make a statement, even if it was just 5 minutes from the end.

This movie does have some funny parts, especially stemming from the fact that I feel there was more "adults only" humor than in the other movies. I also felt like there was an attempt to spoof other films, some of which might be recognizable to children/teens (esp. LOTR Return of the King and Moulin Rouge) As I see it, from a cinematic standpoint, this movie fails in the way a lot of movies do-it looses steam and then gets either weird or goofy, as in this case.

Oh, and I almost forgot. For desecrating a precious Damien Rice song, -1. And grrrrrr, shame on you Damien. Whenever I am using the word “sellout”, I will think of you.

Out of 5: 2.5 stars for making me laugh in places. For thoughtless plot and inappropriate music choice, minus -2.5.